i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
