i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't deserve a penis
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
