i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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