just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize