He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
