Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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