Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
