Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he thought i was a dude.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
