Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
