i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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