I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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