my vag is so smooth its legendary
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
