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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
