I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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