My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
