yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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