I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
