We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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