He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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