My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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