good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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