Im at strip club and am horny
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
