I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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