My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
