Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
