I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
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Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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