Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
