I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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