they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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