Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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