When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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