Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
