She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
