whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
