Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
