i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
