So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
