i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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