STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
