She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
