Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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