Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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