I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize