Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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