im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
