I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
