You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Quick, to the slutcave!
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HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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