Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
