i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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