The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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