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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
