I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
