So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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