I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize