It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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