Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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