so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
