Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
