$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
