Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
