Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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