she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My bed smells like the plague
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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