I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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