How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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