thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
