I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
