I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
